MERCURY'S THE WORST PLANET EVER

I hate Mercury on it's bad day. You may or may not believe in in astrology, and that's just fine. But I'm a superstitious person (I'm an artist, I have to be weird and quirky right? That's what makes us so charming and enduring right?) on occasion. And I swear to the whirling, twirling, giant planets in our system, that Mercury in retrograde is a bitch. What it means, basically, is that communication gets funked up. For like...3 weeks you find yourself saying the wrong things your partner, you tell your kids Santa isn't real, you tell the popular girl in school her outfit is crap....it just really really messes with your social/family life!

Except me.

Oh no. Mercury in retrograde has special special plans for me when it goes retrograde. It's so sinister even Sith Lords wince and take a step back.

IF MERCURY HAD A FACE THIS WOULD BE IT! Cute and evil

I mean seriously, lookit that face! So cute, so sweet....except for that deadly "ahaha I'm about to mess up your life" smile. That's Mercury in retrograde for me. I don't have a ton of talents in this world, but I can write. Not, however, when Mercury goes retro. All of my inspiration dries up. My characters are flat, I have no motivation to write or create worlds. Or words. It's awful!

It doesn't happen that often, but when it does it's like someone switched off the lights and called for a month long break! And it KILLS me! I'd chalk it up to the whole 'the mind is a powerful thing' thing, except that every time I've found all my character abandoning me like rats on a sinking ship, I've asked a friend or two if perhaps they know what's going on in the heavens and each time the answer has been the same:

Mercury went Retrograde, didn't you know?


WHY? Why can't I be like everyone else effected by a retrograde? You know, accidentally insult my neighbor, say the wrong thing at a party, laugh too loud at a sad movie? Why must I be forced to take a month to feel that I'll never be able to write again and that I was a fool for ever thinking that I should be a writer?

As an artist I already suffer from self crippling doubt and fear that I'm not good enough to do this! 

I don't need some smarmy, bitchy planet making it worse!

So dear fellow writers if you're like me let me know, because I'm out here starting to feel like I'm the only writer Mercury likes to mess with. Do you guys find yourself artistically drained when mercury is in retrograde? Or do you just smack Mercury in the face and tell it to go eat some chocolate and calm down? Or worse: Does it not affect you at all!?

This annoyed writer wants to know!

And Mercury, if you're watching this?

YOU SUCK