Wednesday, February 11, 2015

The 3 Types of Writers

If there's one thing I love, it's writing. But if there's two things I love its writing and moving gifs that convey how I feel. I mean really, when I can't roll my eyes as dramatically as i'd like, I look for an emoticon that can. And if there's a third thing I love its lists. Every one loves lists right!? It keeps you focused, and it feels so good to draw a line though all the crap you finished!! I bet you feel like you already accomplished a lot just by reading that last sentence! See!?

So in celebration of my love of writing, over generalizations, and gifs, here is a list of 3 kinds of writers you'll find! I'm sure a bunch of you are saying "But Katie, there's more than three kinds!" And to that I say: I know.

I don't know why I picked the number, it was entirely random. And now.....


#1 The Trendy Coffee Shop Writer 

We all know her (or him). They're the ones with their laptop open inside your local Starbucks/mom-and-pop coffee shop. They look artsy with their colorful hair (or if they're guys, their beards or slightly tortured soul look), good fashion taste, and black framed glasses. Yeah. And they're not prescription either. It just adds to the fact that they're an edgy writer on the verge of making it. They've also probably only got one cup of coffee near them. They can't afford more...unless you buy it for them of course. Poor things.

It's like being a hipster, only worse. Because they're no wearing it ironically.

Is it just me, or do male writers always look like they stepped out of the 1940's?

You, on the other hand, forgot to do laundry, so you put on whatever you could find on the floor that smelled mostly clean. Or you're wearing Ode D' Coffee because this happened to you this morning:

 (AS A NOTE: A writer who has 'made it' will have 8 millions cups of coffee around them. Probably. I'm just guessing since I haven't made it yet. But you can bet your sweet monkey when I do I'll have so many coffee cups you could build a fort with them!)

#2 The Writer With a Deadline 

 This writer is easy to spot. They haven't changed clothes in three days but they need food. So they go to the grocery store 'really quickly' only to realize that they have to make choices. Dammit, they just took a break because they can't decide if their character will survive a deadly fall or not and their editor told them this is absolutely the last extension they get. THEY DON'T HAVE TIME TO PICK OUT WHAT KIND OF SOUP THEY WANT! ARRRG! You'll see them muttering to themselves and meandering the isle with a slightly wild or dazed look on their face. Possibly they've already opened food from sheer desperation.

#3 The Procrastinating Writer 

This writer is especially prevalent in the land of Writing. You'll know this writer because they'll be doing everything but writing. For example, this:

Composing the next chart topper is more important than a novel!

Or this: 

Just getting new ideas, I swear!

Or my personal (and most used) favorite: 

I know there are a million other kind of writers out there, so what kind of writer are you? Leave a comment below of what kind of writers you've observed! What kind are you? This Procrastinating Writer wants to know!!


Note the nice clothing, the fancy cafe (probably somewhere in Paris for 'research') and the slightly smug salute. 


  1. I am on top of an author that blocks myself away for days on end writing. Then I have a break whenever I feel like it. My favourite time is to write at night. No, I don't write vampire is all films or stories about the black arts or voodoo magic.

    I do like the quiet night as I seem to work best at night. There is no phone there are no interruptions. Gives me myself and my computer.

    The word is an author.

    Therefore I am.

    Kind regards Tom West.

  2. How interesting! I too, do my best writing at night--but I've had to force myself to become a 'day' writer. I produce good work, but my most fantastical ideas or most emotional scenes come when I write at night.

    Thank you for your comment Tom! :)