Wednesday, March 11, 2015

3 More Types of Writers

Alright writers, let's talk. Talking is that thing you do when you're not yelling at your work or speaking to the characters in your head (sorry, they don't count). As a writer I'm going to assume you have somewhere in your life, another writer friend. They may have already 'made it', they may be just starting out, or they may be in the same rapidly sinking boat as you. Or maybe you're both already stranded on a tropical island using coconut shells as paper to write on. But they're who you turn to when you get frustrated about writing or the character you want to kill that JUST WONT DIE.

But this friend of yours....they're different than you. They write differently, their story telling and word choices are different, but most importantly their work output is different. Like, off the charts different. Coke without rum different. Having many (and I do mean many) writer friends upon which to compile this list, I'm going to give you three types of writers and how they work. Because 3 is such a lovely number. It's all round-ish, and if you put a reversed three next to it it makes 8. But that number's too big--and I'm too lazy.

#1 The Cheetah: This writing friend of yours is incredibly deceptive. They look lazy. The spend all day watching Real House Wives, Anthony Bourdain, and HGTV. They hang around Pinterest and twitter. And then, exactly two weeks before their book is needed by their publisher (or a contest is about to close) they sit up, turn off the TV and write. And I don't mean 'write'. I mean WRITE. In the three hours it takes you to write four pages they're churning out 15 to 20. They finish a novel in a month and make you wonder how the hell they got all that energy. It was from being lazy. Like cheetahs they lounge and wile away the day until its time to hunt.

*Note: yes, yes I am that person. Yes, I did write a novel in a little over a month. Yes, I did write 20 pages in three hours a day. It scared the bajeezus out of mom, who is also a writer. Apparently it's a truly terrifying sight to behold. I wouldn't know. I was busy writing and it's all kind of blur.

#2 The 9 to 5-er : This person possibly was an office worker of some sort before they started writing as their career. Or maybe they have a case of OCD that they never got checked out. Or maybe they just really really strong willpower. The point is, they wake up, make coffee, read the newspaper (or twitter) and then they write. They take a lunch break and a 15 minute break around 3. Even if there's a fire on their desk they keep working, because dammit, they have a job to do! They write solidly and finish books exactly 3 to 4 months later. They even have supper on the table (or in the microwave) when their significant other comes home. Rinse and repeat. I admire these people, cause god knows I can't do it. I don't even know the definition of willpower. Can you eat it? I don't know. Doesn't sound tasty though.

#3 The Weekender: This writer writes on weekends. It's because they have a thing called a job on the weekdays. They aren't always able to do the 9-5 thing, especially if they have kids or pets or a boyfriend/girlfriend that needs attention, but they write consistently. Possibly they even churn out more pages per hour than the 9 to 5-er. These people remain weekend writers until they get their book published and then they become international best sellers like JK Rowling. Maybe I should consider this path instead. Hmmmm....

So what kind of writer are you? Are you different than these other three? Let me know!

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