Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Stop Being So Hard On Yourself!!

I've been writing. No really! I've written everything under the sun! This week I've finished two songs, written two...no THREE blogs, and this makes my fourth! I just haven't been....writing. I have two pages, give or take, to finish (and re-work the ending in general) And you know what? That's okay.

I've been spending a lot of considerable effort avoiding writing. The thought of trying to finish my ending has been stressing me out and even depressing me. The more I thought about having to re-write the ending the more I wanted to avoid it because of all the stress it reminded me of. The words I'd told a friend still ring clearly in my ears, and have stopped me in fear of finishing it for the sole fact that I'm worried even with fixing it will still (I quote myself here):

"read like a D+ movie made by the Sci-Fi channel." 


SHARKNADO!!! Pretty sure this is where my ending belongs.....
The beginning is great! The middle super intense and fast passed (this by my beta readers). The ending.....bluh. It's Flat End that would make even the Sci-fi low budget movie writers cringe. Or maybe steal the idea.

Honestly I hate the fact that when I write in this blog about my own writing all I can really do is complain about my fear of writing the ending. Honestly, half the time I don't even know if the things I'm writing here get read or are even helpful or entertaining! I'm pretty sure you have way better blogs and lives to follow than an 'almost' author. One who can't start another book until she finishes the one she's working on. Man, I think you guys need a drink  more than I do!

But today I had a break through. Not in writing, but in attitude and mindset. Another factor that's been stressing and depressing me is the fact that my life seems to be going no where. I'm the proverbial car stuck in the mud spinning its wheels. And then I received news that rather kick my butt into gear made me feel more depressed about my life and writing. Except today. Today things got better.

That's totally me. Totally. You like my robe?
Today I meditated (yeah, that's right, I meditate and do yoga. If I ever dye my hair blond seriously kill me. Hire a hit man and kill me. I'll be no good to this world). And as I was focusing on my Intent of
the day, which was self-improvement, a thought floated by. It said to me, "be kind to yourself. Why are you being so hard on yourself? Why are you putting so much pressure and focus on the ending being 150% perfect?"

Woah. Wooooooah. The voice of the writing gods thought floated away as gently as it had posed the questions, leaving me floored. Why was I so hard on myself? Why am I putting an all-or-nothing attitude towards it? Is it the end of the world that it's taken me a while to write this? No. I've been pushing myself so hard, pushing myself to get it finished by a specific deadline OR ELSE.

Or else what? 

And why I am using fear tactics on my self!? Who does that?!?! Crazy people named Katie Masters, that's who! Be kind to yourself. That's what the writing gods thought said. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself nicely. I haven't been treating myself nicely for a long time. I've been mean to myself. I've belittled myself, yelled at myself, threatened myself to have this book finished 'or else'. And it made me not want to write. Deep down, that's what's been wrong. I've been putting so much negative pressure on writing that I saw it as a chore and something to be feared and stressful. Not something fun and exciting.

So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to write. I'm going to be nice to myself and tell myself to not worry about deadlines. To write because it's fun and you want to tell this story. But I'm going to write and I'm going to finish this ending when it want's to be finished.

I suppose my main message to all of you hopeful writers and already published writers is this: Be nice to yourself. I think we all forget to do that as writers. We're so concerned and focused on what's wrong with our books that we forget to be nice to ourselves sometimes. So don't worry about deadlines, don't put negative pressure on yourself. Take a deep breath and then another. And remember that you'll finish when you need to. I know I will! OR, you could always take Nick's advice as pointed out below:


Also, you could just meditate! Maybe the writing gods some good advice will come to you too! 

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for this post! I write blogs and copy and emails and then am mean to myself because I'm not really writing. Not that I don't need to really write just that sometimes it's a trade off. And I do believe that I'll finish when I need to :)

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  2. Thanks for this post! I write blogs and copy and emails and then am mean to myself because I'm not really writing. Not that I don't need to really write just that sometimes it's a trade off. And I do believe that I'll finish when I need to :)

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    Replies
    1. Awwww you're welcome Barbara! I know you can do it! And writing blogs is hard work, so good for you! Finish when you finish and don't worry about it! :)

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