Our friends love us. They support us. They mean us well. And that's exactly why sometimes, even when they're trying to be helpful, they make us want to throw them off a cliff.
If you're friends (or spend any amount of time) with a writer, then you, you lucky human, get to live in a magical world that's equal parts rainbows and portals to hell. But you already know that.
We writers are a bipolar lot. Half of the time we're confident and sure of ourselves and our abilities. Ain't no one gonna say we aren't gonna make it! The other half is filled with doubt, self-loathing, and neediness.
2. Have you tried writing prompts? Why yes, yes I have. And you know what happened? Nothing. I wrote 'the cat sat on the mat and died'. The only other thing I could think up was 'this is a cheese stick.' Writing prompts work when you're in a creative mood. They are not helpful when we're in a writing slump and everything we write come out sounding trite--or not at all.
5. I have a good story idea, why don't use mine?/Want to hear my story idea? I think this is the worst offender, right up there with number 1. I have writer's block. That means that no matte what I write (if I even can) I think it's crap. And when I write, the words feel trite and useless and like a five year old could do better. Giving me your story idea isn't helpful. Firstly, it's yours. Secondly: I have writers block. I. Can't. WRITE.
And there you have it, 5 things you shouldn't say to your writer friends with writer's block. I hope I've saved some of your friendships. I hope your writer friend isn't suffering writers block, because it's awful for all parties involved.
If your friend/significant other/family member is suffering from writer's block there's very little you can do. Just give them their favorite drink and tell them that everyone goes through this and that you still believe in them.
as a writer I would like to say:
If you're friends (or spend any amount of time) with a writer, then you, you lucky human, get to live in a magical world that's equal parts rainbows and portals to hell. But you already know that.
We writers are a bipolar lot. Half of the time we're confident and sure of ourselves and our abilities. Ain't no one gonna say we aren't gonna make it! The other half is filled with doubt, self-loathing, and neediness.
We are so needy, guys. SO. NEEDY.
 |
| This is us after you gave us a hug an beverage and think we're fine now |
We need you to tell us we don't suck, that we're doing the right thing pursuing this thing called writing. We need you to ply us with tea or coffee. Tell us not to give up. Tell us we're not crazy and that you believe in us. Tell us this daily. Five times a day at least. Constantly.
Basically we need you to be the support we can't be for ourselves 50% of the time
If we're both lucky, we come back from our neediness spell and come out swinging, ready to conquer the world and our self-doubt. We, your writer friend, are forever in your debt and are probably alive mainly because of you and your words. You hear that? You are saving a talented person's life.
But there are things friends can say that RUIN US. They make us want to throw ourselves off a cliff from the unhelpful words you're so helpfully given. It's a rough gig, being a writer's friend/supporter. I feel you. So here are 5 things you should never say to a writer who has writer's block. They will save your friendship and make your relationship last.
5 Things You Shouldn't Say:
1. I'm sure you'll be fine, you'll think of something: No. No we won't be fine. This blank page? yeah, it's been blank for three months. We feel like a failure. We feel like we'll never have a good idea again and everything we try to write comes out wrong. If we could just 'think of something' we wouldn't be stuck with a blank page for 3 months.
3. Why don't you try writing a different genre/story? Oh sure, no problem! Let me just open this word doc/notebook/leather bound journal that-was-too-expensive-for-me-and-I regret-this-decision, and let me write in a completely different genre that requires me to be inspired for a story. Which I'm not. Because I have writers block.
4. Why don't you join a writer's group? Why? Why? Maybe because I don't want to hear other people's ideas that are either better than my lackluster (or non existent at this point) ones. Or worse, I hear a terrible idea and it's still better than mine. Because I have NONE. Yes, let's put the one with writer's block in a room full of people with ideas for their own stuff. That's totally helpful.
5. I have a good story idea, why don't use mine?/Want to hear my story idea? I think this is the worst offender, right up there with number 1. I have writer's block. That means that no matte what I write (if I even can) I think it's crap. And when I write, the words feel trite and useless and like a five year old could do better. Giving me your story idea isn't helpful. Firstly, it's yours. Secondly: I have writers block. I. Can't. WRITE.
If your friend/significant other/family member is suffering from writer's block there's very little you can do. Just give them their favorite drink and tell them that everyone goes through this and that you still believe in them.
as a writer I would like to say:
Writer's block suuuuuuuuucccckkkksss
(for everyone involved)
(for everyone involved)
What are some things that you say to your writer friends that you've found has helped them? What have you said that doesn't help them? And if you're a writer, what are some of your pet peeves that people tell you when you have writers block? Or, what are some of the things that helped?
THIS AUTHOR WANTS TO KNOW!
THIS AUTHOR WANTS TO KNOW!
Comments
Post a Comment